A lot of talk has been happening here lately about safe words, limits, and "true" submission. Everyone has their own opinions on this subject, and i want to talk about mine. i have discussed safe words and limits before, but i just want to express my opinion.
There was a post i read earlier that said any person who has limits or uses a safe word is not truly submissive. That, in essence they are playing at being submissive or they are controlling the relationship, instead of the Dom who should be controlling it. i respectfully disagree. First of all, nothing makes me crazier than the 'my submission is better than your's' game. Everyone defines their relationship differently, and just because one submissive does things one way and another does things another way, does not make one better, truer, or more submissive than the other.
Daddy and i don't use safe words, anymore. We did in the begining. It was important and in Daddy's opinion necessary in the begining. For one thing i was brand new to the scene. Neither one of us knew what i could handle. Daddy didn't want to accidently go too far and have me afraid to say something. He wasn't sure what body language i would exhibit if and when things got too intense. Now He knows me. He knows how far He can push me, and He knows what to watch for as far as my reactions if He is going too far.
These safe words were used only during play and they were not abused. They were never used to simply get out of doing something i didn't want to do. They were used if and when they were needed, if something was becoming too much for me or if somehing was wrong like my hands were going numb. Sometimes i would fight against using my safe words even when i really needed to. i wanted to be a perfect submissive who could take as much as any other submissive. Daddy cured me of that, He pushed me, and pushed me, and pushed me, until i called red.
When Daddy allows someone else to play me, however, He insists on safe words and i am thankful for that. Another Top does not know me like Daddy does, and i need to be able to stop things if they go to far. Daddy also will not allow someone else to play me if He has never seen them play, and if He has seen them play, but is uncomfortable with how they play, He will not allow them to play me. These are some of the ways He takes care of me.
As far as limits go, yes, i have limits. i don't have as many limits as i did in the begining, but yes i do have limits. There are certain things i simply will not do or have done to me. Does this make me not submissive? i don't think so. It means i am not a mindless robot, it doesn't mean i am not submissive. There are other things that i am not fond of, but that Daddy likes to do, that i do to please Him. That is part of what makes me a submissive, my desire to make Daddy happy. Daddy accepts my hard limits, and pushes my soft limits and over time some things that were hard limits have become things that either i really enjoy, like knife play, or things i accept like cutting. Some of my other limits remain limits and will always remain limits. Some of these things like scat, and beastiality luckliy are things that Daddy has no interest in.
So, i used to use safe words and i still have limits. Does this make me not a true submissive? Does this make me just some player waanabe, who has romantic ideas of what submission is? No. NO! i am submissive because i have a desire to please my Master. i am submissive because i have given myself freely to Him. He considers me His property and that makes me happy. Yes, i do believe that there are submissives out there who have romantic ideas about submission. Submission is hard sometimes. It is serving when you are dead tired at the end of a long day. It is responding yes Sir to a command when you are feeling upset or just having a bad day. And at times it does mean doing something that you don't exactly enjoy because it will make Him happy. i do all this, because i am with my Master, my Sir, my One, my Owner, my Daddy. He makes me whole, and i gladly belong to Him.
i have also read things about on-line submissives being less submissive than those of us who have the privelege of living the lifestyle real time. Who are we to judge. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to be near the one who owns us on a daily or at least regular basis. How hard must it be that the only contact these submissives have with their Masters is a phone call or e-mail message. Those submissives who live a long distance or on-line relationship with their Masters and do it truthfully, obediently, and submissively deserve respect from the rest of us.
No one can define true submission. It has as many definitions as it has people living it whether 24/7, part time, on-line, or any other way they live it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Not Sure What's the Matter with Me
i'm not sure what's wrong with me. i wanted to blog all weekend long, i even had ideas i wanted to blog about, but as hard and often as i tried, i was unable to get my thoughts out clearly. Even this isn't coming out quite the way i intended.
Daddy and i were talking about Handfasting last night and for some reason, even though He didn't say anything to me that He hasn't said before, i got really upset. We have never discussed Handfasting before, it simply came up because we were looking at websites of Rennassaince Costumes and they had a section with Handfasting cloaks.
Daddy doesn't want to get married. Ever. He has been married twice before and doesn't want to get married again. He never hid this fact from me. So, even though i would like to be married to Him, i knew from the start that this is the way it is. Last night Daddy asked me if i wanted to be Handfasted, and at first i thought yes, i really do, but then He said He would be willing to Handfast with if it would make me feel better about the fact that He wants to find others to play with. What?!? There are times He wants to do some things that i'm not crazy about, or that i plain don't like. i know this, and i usually don't have a problem with Him playing with others who play harder or just different than i do. He has mentioned that He would like to find someone or a couple of someones to play with occassionally and that at times He would like to bring it to a sexual level. Does this make me happy? No. Will i accept it? That is a little more complicated. Of course if He decides to do this, i have no choice, but i would like for it to be someone i at least like, and i would like to be there.
When Daddy talks about wanting to find others to play with, it hurts me. It makes me feel like i am not good enough, that i am not making Him happy. Sometimes i feel like if He finds someone He thinks is better than i am, that He'll want to replace me.He tells me that is silly, that He is comitted to me, He collared me, and i am the one He wants. i do have some problems with insecurity and jealousy, i always have, and Daddy knew this when we got together. He tells me i have no reason to be jealous about anyone else, but when the other submissive is prettier, thinner, or younger i feel inferior.
The other part of this is that Daddy doesn't love me. He says He doesn't believe that love exists, and that He "cares about me". He not only tells me regularly that He doen't love me, He tells other people that. That hurts me more than i can express, especially since i love Him more than i have ever loved anyone.
So, last night when we talked about Handfasting all of this came bubbling up to the surface and i got upset. Even though i would like to be handfasted to Daddy, i don't think that making me more comfortable about Him being with others is a very good reason to do it, especially if He doesn't love me. Daddy says part of the reason He doesn't want to get married again is that He doesn't want to be hurt again. His second wife lied to Him and asked for a divorce after 14 years of marriage. i told Him i am not His ex-wives and while He says He knows that, He is still making me pay for their sins. i feel like the fact that He thinks if He marries me i will hurt Him shows that He doesn't trust me. That hurts too.
Last night i told Him all this, and asked what "cares for" means. He said it is commitment, but what does that mean? He says He wants me, that He collared me, and He doesn't take that lightly. He says He is willing to Handfast with me if that is what i want, what i need to feel that our commitment is stronger.
There are times i feel like He loves me. There were even a couple of times He has said it, although they were long ago, and now He denies ever saying it. He takes very good care of me. When i was sick and in the hospital He slept by my bedside despite His back pain. On Valentine's Day He took me out of town and spoiled me. He was there for me at my Grandfather's Funeral. He built a computer to give my nephews for Christmas.
He said i need to let Him know in a week if i want to be handfasted to Him. Do i? i don't know. i still don't know if the reason He is even considering it is a good enough reason, and i'm not sure if it is something He really wants.
i know that this post probably makes little to no sense. i feel like i have been rambling on aimlessly.
Daddy and i were talking about Handfasting last night and for some reason, even though He didn't say anything to me that He hasn't said before, i got really upset. We have never discussed Handfasting before, it simply came up because we were looking at websites of Rennassaince Costumes and they had a section with Handfasting cloaks.
Daddy doesn't want to get married. Ever. He has been married twice before and doesn't want to get married again. He never hid this fact from me. So, even though i would like to be married to Him, i knew from the start that this is the way it is. Last night Daddy asked me if i wanted to be Handfasted, and at first i thought yes, i really do, but then He said He would be willing to Handfast with if it would make me feel better about the fact that He wants to find others to play with. What?!? There are times He wants to do some things that i'm not crazy about, or that i plain don't like. i know this, and i usually don't have a problem with Him playing with others who play harder or just different than i do. He has mentioned that He would like to find someone or a couple of someones to play with occassionally and that at times He would like to bring it to a sexual level. Does this make me happy? No. Will i accept it? That is a little more complicated. Of course if He decides to do this, i have no choice, but i would like for it to be someone i at least like, and i would like to be there.
When Daddy talks about wanting to find others to play with, it hurts me. It makes me feel like i am not good enough, that i am not making Him happy. Sometimes i feel like if He finds someone He thinks is better than i am, that He'll want to replace me.He tells me that is silly, that He is comitted to me, He collared me, and i am the one He wants. i do have some problems with insecurity and jealousy, i always have, and Daddy knew this when we got together. He tells me i have no reason to be jealous about anyone else, but when the other submissive is prettier, thinner, or younger i feel inferior.
The other part of this is that Daddy doesn't love me. He says He doesn't believe that love exists, and that He "cares about me". He not only tells me regularly that He doen't love me, He tells other people that. That hurts me more than i can express, especially since i love Him more than i have ever loved anyone.
So, last night when we talked about Handfasting all of this came bubbling up to the surface and i got upset. Even though i would like to be handfasted to Daddy, i don't think that making me more comfortable about Him being with others is a very good reason to do it, especially if He doesn't love me. Daddy says part of the reason He doesn't want to get married again is that He doesn't want to be hurt again. His second wife lied to Him and asked for a divorce after 14 years of marriage. i told Him i am not His ex-wives and while He says He knows that, He is still making me pay for their sins. i feel like the fact that He thinks if He marries me i will hurt Him shows that He doesn't trust me. That hurts too.
Last night i told Him all this, and asked what "cares for" means. He said it is commitment, but what does that mean? He says He wants me, that He collared me, and He doesn't take that lightly. He says He is willing to Handfast with me if that is what i want, what i need to feel that our commitment is stronger.
There are times i feel like He loves me. There were even a couple of times He has said it, although they were long ago, and now He denies ever saying it. He takes very good care of me. When i was sick and in the hospital He slept by my bedside despite His back pain. On Valentine's Day He took me out of town and spoiled me. He was there for me at my Grandfather's Funeral. He built a computer to give my nephews for Christmas.
He said i need to let Him know in a week if i want to be handfasted to Him. Do i? i don't know. i still don't know if the reason He is even considering it is a good enough reason, and i'm not sure if it is something He really wants.
i know that this post probably makes little to no sense. i feel like i have been rambling on aimlessly.
Friday, September 18, 2009
My Collaring
May 31, 2008 was the happiest day of my life. It was the day that Daddy officially Collared me. Prior to that i was wearing a training collar that He had given me when we first got together. When He presented me with my training collar i was very pleased, but it was a very low key event, just the two of us. My official Collaring was a much more elaborate affair.
Of course i don't wear my Formal Collar at all times, that would be inappropriate for many occassions including work, church, and other non-lifestyle functions. For those occassions i have a silver chain with a medallion that has a wolf on one side and a Celtic Cross on the other that He bought me early on in our relationship. We consider this a collar most of the time. When we go to a party or other lifestyle event i always wear my formal collar, and sometimes when we are going out somewhere where no one knows us, i will wear my formal collar. i just like the way it looks.....and feels.
Daddy has also given me another mark of ownership that i can never take off. i have a tattoo on my upper left thigh. It is only visible when i am wearing shorts, a very short skirt, or nothing. i love this tattoo, although it hurt alot when it was done. The point of all this is, it doesn't matter what the item is, it marks His ownership of me. Very few people know that these are marks of ownership, but we do, that is what's important.
But back to my Collaring. Every couple brings there own personality to their Collaring Ceremony. Ours was no different. Daddy basically left most of the planning up to me, which was fine, that was actually what i wanted. We decided that we did not want an officiant. Daddy decided that He would speak at the ceremony. We also decided that we wanted other people involved in our ceremony. Some of those people would be in the actual ceremony, and others would be invited to the ceremony. Several of the girls who were in the ceremony helped me with the planning, i did a lot of research on different styles of ceremonies. There is one Ceremony called The Ceremony of The Roses that is absolutely beautiful.
Some couples do their Collaring privately, not wishing to share it with anyone else, some couples will have a small gathering, and some do it casually at a party. We did our Collaring in front of a large group of people. We asked a friend of ours whose has parties at her home if we could borrow her house for our ceremony. We invited friends who we had met at parties and other lifestyle events. Some of our closest friends were in the ceremony, with our best friends, who happen to be a couple standing with us. A male submissive friend of ours escorted me in and presented me to Daddy. i was wearing a short white dress that we made specifically for this occassion. Daddy removed my training collar, and asked me if i wished to submit to Him. When i had answered His questions He placed the Formal Collar around my neck. Tears were running down my face. It was the best day of my life.
My friends did not let me do any of the work the day of, or the day after my Collaring. All the cooking and cleaning and setting up they did. They told me it was my day and i was to just enjoy it. They also helped me dress and one of them curled my hair. i had a manicure, a pedicure, and even had my eyebrows waxed for the first time, ever. i felt like a princess.
And yet, as wonderful as it all was, as pampered as i felt, the underlying meaning of this step was not lost on me. The fact that He cared enough about me to collar me was overwhelming. This Collar means so much to me. It means as much to me as a wedding ring. It is a symbol of ownership, and commitment. It means i am in this for the long haul. i did not accept this collar lightly, and i think He knows that.
There was a discussion on one of the boards i belong to recently on "The Velcro Collar Syndrome", couples making this commitment within days of getting together, only to have it end a few weeks later, instead of taking the time to be sure. Daddy and i waited almost two years before He formally collared me. It was not something we rushed into. i'm not saying that couples that enter into a relationship quickly are doomed to fail, after all even though we waited almost two years to do the formal collaring, we moved in together essentially after one date. i'm just saying that entering into a BDSM relationship is something that needs to be carefully thought out. You could possibly be putting your LIFE into the hands of someone else, don't you want to know you can trust them?
Being Collared means the world to me. We have our ups and downs, and some days i feel very frustrated, but when all is said and done, this is where i want to be. i belong to Him, completely.
Of course i don't wear my Formal Collar at all times, that would be inappropriate for many occassions including work, church, and other non-lifestyle functions. For those occassions i have a silver chain with a medallion that has a wolf on one side and a Celtic Cross on the other that He bought me early on in our relationship. We consider this a collar most of the time. When we go to a party or other lifestyle event i always wear my formal collar, and sometimes when we are going out somewhere where no one knows us, i will wear my formal collar. i just like the way it looks.....and feels.
Daddy has also given me another mark of ownership that i can never take off. i have a tattoo on my upper left thigh. It is only visible when i am wearing shorts, a very short skirt, or nothing. i love this tattoo, although it hurt alot when it was done. The point of all this is, it doesn't matter what the item is, it marks His ownership of me. Very few people know that these are marks of ownership, but we do, that is what's important.
But back to my Collaring. Every couple brings there own personality to their Collaring Ceremony. Ours was no different. Daddy basically left most of the planning up to me, which was fine, that was actually what i wanted. We decided that we did not want an officiant. Daddy decided that He would speak at the ceremony. We also decided that we wanted other people involved in our ceremony. Some of those people would be in the actual ceremony, and others would be invited to the ceremony. Several of the girls who were in the ceremony helped me with the planning, i did a lot of research on different styles of ceremonies. There is one Ceremony called The Ceremony of The Roses that is absolutely beautiful.
Some couples do their Collaring privately, not wishing to share it with anyone else, some couples will have a small gathering, and some do it casually at a party. We did our Collaring in front of a large group of people. We asked a friend of ours whose has parties at her home if we could borrow her house for our ceremony. We invited friends who we had met at parties and other lifestyle events. Some of our closest friends were in the ceremony, with our best friends, who happen to be a couple standing with us. A male submissive friend of ours escorted me in and presented me to Daddy. i was wearing a short white dress that we made specifically for this occassion. Daddy removed my training collar, and asked me if i wished to submit to Him. When i had answered His questions He placed the Formal Collar around my neck. Tears were running down my face. It was the best day of my life.
My friends did not let me do any of the work the day of, or the day after my Collaring. All the cooking and cleaning and setting up they did. They told me it was my day and i was to just enjoy it. They also helped me dress and one of them curled my hair. i had a manicure, a pedicure, and even had my eyebrows waxed for the first time, ever. i felt like a princess.
And yet, as wonderful as it all was, as pampered as i felt, the underlying meaning of this step was not lost on me. The fact that He cared enough about me to collar me was overwhelming. This Collar means so much to me. It means as much to me as a wedding ring. It is a symbol of ownership, and commitment. It means i am in this for the long haul. i did not accept this collar lightly, and i think He knows that.
There was a discussion on one of the boards i belong to recently on "The Velcro Collar Syndrome", couples making this commitment within days of getting together, only to have it end a few weeks later, instead of taking the time to be sure. Daddy and i waited almost two years before He formally collared me. It was not something we rushed into. i'm not saying that couples that enter into a relationship quickly are doomed to fail, after all even though we waited almost two years to do the formal collaring, we moved in together essentially after one date. i'm just saying that entering into a BDSM relationship is something that needs to be carefully thought out. You could possibly be putting your LIFE into the hands of someone else, don't you want to know you can trust them?
Being Collared means the world to me. We have our ups and downs, and some days i feel very frustrated, but when all is said and done, this is where i want to be. i belong to Him, completely.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Energy Exchange
From our first meeting, Daddy always made it clear that i was never to cum without His permission. There were times He made me beg, there were times He denied me, and there were times that i waited too long to ask, and came without permission (never a good thing), but the one thing i never, ever imagined after that first meeting was that one day, with a slight touch, or a single word my body would respond no matter where i was or what i was doing.
The first time this happened, we were out and about. Daddy has a habit of touching me while we are driving. He likes for me to wear a skirt without panties, of course, and on this particular day that is what i had on. i have always been very shy about these semi-public displays, but at the same time i get pretty excited. So, we had completed our last stop and we were on our way home, which living where we did at the time was a fairly long drive. Daddy had been touching and teasing me all day, and i was quickly becoming a puddle of goo. Then out of the blue, Daddy softly stroked His fingers up my arm and said "Cum"....miraculously i did.
At first i wasn't sure what had happened. It seemed impossible that i had just cum from having my arm stroked. Daddy says at the time He wasn't sure if what He did would work, but He knew i was fairly receptive to His energy, He just wasn't sure how receptive. From that time on He knew for sure.
Part of the reason Daddy felt i would be able to cum on command was because He had done some energy work with me prior to that. He would have me close my eyes, or would come up behind me when i was unaware, and when He held His hand 1/2 inch or so above my skin, i would react. Over and over again, i vowed that i didn't feel anything, but the truth was and is, when He does this i feel His energy flow through me.
From that day forward, anytime Daddy would lightly touch my arm and command "cum", i would. Then we started working with just the word, and to my surprise and shock, i was able to cum simply from the command.
Since that time, with much coaxing from Daddy, i have accepted and acknowledged that we do have the connection. i don't know why the thought of feeling His energy frightened me so much. Every time He would do something having to do with energy exchange i would tell Him i didn't "really" feel it, or it was all in my mind. Then came the day when He made it all "so real" to me.
Some of the details of this day are a little unclear to me. i was really upset about something, i believe i was arguing with my mom, which always puts me in a bad place. It was night time, and i was upset and crying. Daddy layed me down on the bed and told me to close my eyes. As i layed there, i felt His hands, not touching me, but passing over me. His hands pased over me again, and again, and slowly i felt all the tension ease from my body. i felt my body go limp as the last of my energy passed from my body into His hands and i fell into a restful sleep.
It never fails to amaze me when Daddy is able to say the word cum and i respond. There have been times when He has called me at work and said that one word and my body has responded. At those times i am glad that there are cubicle walls between my co-workers and i, and i have learned to be very, very quiet.
There are people who do not believe us when Daddy or i tell them i am able to cum on command. And other people want to "watch", like i am some freak in a circus side show. In the long run however, all that really matters is that Daddy and i know that the connection is there. What others think and feel makes no difference.
The first time this happened, we were out and about. Daddy has a habit of touching me while we are driving. He likes for me to wear a skirt without panties, of course, and on this particular day that is what i had on. i have always been very shy about these semi-public displays, but at the same time i get pretty excited. So, we had completed our last stop and we were on our way home, which living where we did at the time was a fairly long drive. Daddy had been touching and teasing me all day, and i was quickly becoming a puddle of goo. Then out of the blue, Daddy softly stroked His fingers up my arm and said "Cum"....miraculously i did.
At first i wasn't sure what had happened. It seemed impossible that i had just cum from having my arm stroked. Daddy says at the time He wasn't sure if what He did would work, but He knew i was fairly receptive to His energy, He just wasn't sure how receptive. From that time on He knew for sure.
Part of the reason Daddy felt i would be able to cum on command was because He had done some energy work with me prior to that. He would have me close my eyes, or would come up behind me when i was unaware, and when He held His hand 1/2 inch or so above my skin, i would react. Over and over again, i vowed that i didn't feel anything, but the truth was and is, when He does this i feel His energy flow through me.
From that day forward, anytime Daddy would lightly touch my arm and command "cum", i would. Then we started working with just the word, and to my surprise and shock, i was able to cum simply from the command.
Since that time, with much coaxing from Daddy, i have accepted and acknowledged that we do have the connection. i don't know why the thought of feeling His energy frightened me so much. Every time He would do something having to do with energy exchange i would tell Him i didn't "really" feel it, or it was all in my mind. Then came the day when He made it all "so real" to me.
Some of the details of this day are a little unclear to me. i was really upset about something, i believe i was arguing with my mom, which always puts me in a bad place. It was night time, and i was upset and crying. Daddy layed me down on the bed and told me to close my eyes. As i layed there, i felt His hands, not touching me, but passing over me. His hands pased over me again, and again, and slowly i felt all the tension ease from my body. i felt my body go limp as the last of my energy passed from my body into His hands and i fell into a restful sleep.
It never fails to amaze me when Daddy is able to say the word cum and i respond. There have been times when He has called me at work and said that one word and my body has responded. At those times i am glad that there are cubicle walls between my co-workers and i, and i have learned to be very, very quiet.
There are people who do not believe us when Daddy or i tell them i am able to cum on command. And other people want to "watch", like i am some freak in a circus side show. In the long run however, all that really matters is that Daddy and i know that the connection is there. What others think and feel makes no difference.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Let The Games Begin
Last night was really a lot of fun. Daddy decided He wanted to play, and we did two of my very favorite activities, Fire Play and Wax Play. : D.
We don't often get a chance to play during the week, but we had missed a chance to go to a small party Saturday night, because i was running a fever and Daddy said we couldn't go. So, by last night, we both really wanted to play, and i was asking Daddy some questions about Fire Flogging (something we have never done.)
i absolutely love Fire Play, and was so excited when Daddy put together His own Fire Play set. If you've never experienced Fire Play, it can sound kind of scary, but it is such a rush. If done correctly, it does not hurt, you just feel this warmth rushing over your skin. Daddy has two fire wands, and He uses Wintergreen Alcohol which smells so good. During Fire Play, alcohol is rubbed over part of the body with one wand, (they have tips made with gauze) and the second wand is dipped in the alcohol and lit on fire. That fire is then touched to the alcohol, which burns off almost immediately. If the fire doesn't go out right away the person who is controlling the fire will run their hand over the area, and that will put the fire out. One time i had Fire Play done where the Top used Flash Cotton. It was very intense. Daddy was not the one playing me that time, but He was right there as He always is if someone else is playing me, and He said as soon as the Flash Cotton went off i started to giggle like crazy. It was really cool. Flash Cotton is something magicians use. When lit, it flashes brightly and then goes out. The time i had it used on me, the Top started at my ankle, and ran a piece of the cotton all the way up and over and around my left breast. When He lit it, starting at my ankle, it burned almost all at once. i can't quite describe the way it feels.
After Daddy was finished with the Fire Play, He decided to do Wax Play, but not in a way we had ever done it before. Usually He lights a white taper candle and drips the hot wax onto my body. Last night He melted some of the big, colored religious candles, and after the wax was melted, He poured it into His hands, and smeared it all over my chest in layers. It was hot in places, but it felt really good. When He had several layers on my chest and it had completely hardened, He used His large curved knife to peel the wax off my body. By the time He was done, i was flying. i guess i should have said that last night we did three of my favorite activities, because i also love knife play, lol.
Daddy and i are not what i would call "edge players". There are couples that play much harder, or more intensely than we do, but some of the activities we do, fall under the edge play category. Things like Fire Play and Knife Play. We also do cutting once in a while. Daddy likes this much more than i do, i let Him cut me because it gives Him pleasure. Daddy has tried Breath Play with me at times, but that is something i still struggle with. Each time i tell myself that i am going to relax, but as my air gets cut off i start to struggle. Daddy doesn't push me on this. i did try needle play once. It was OK, but it didn't really do anything for me. Daddy wasn't the one who did it, and i only had two needles put in. We will probably do that again in the future. Daddy also has a Medical Staple Gun. He has put a couple of staples in my arm before. Some people will have 6 or 8 staples placed in two straight lines, and will lace ribbons between them in a criss cross pattern. This looks really pretty. i even know one submissive that has had her pussy lips stapled together.
Another activity i really enjoy is cupping. There are two ways to do cupping. One is Mechanical Cupping, and one is Fire Cupping, that is the one i like, big surprise right, lol. Cupping is an activity where cups are attached to a person's back with suction. In Fire Cupping, this is done, by placing a small piece of leather on the back, placing a piece of cotton soaked in alcohol on top of that, and lighting it. While it is lit, a small cup (like a votive holder) is placed over the whole thing and this causes a suction effect. To get these cups off, the suction has to be broken. You end up with these awesome circular bruises on your back. Some people will pair cupping with sliding, where the cups are slid around on the back before the cups are removed, i have never tried this.
There are a lot of fun activities Daddy and i do together. We don't get to play as often as we would like some times, but when we do we both really enjoy it.
We don't often get a chance to play during the week, but we had missed a chance to go to a small party Saturday night, because i was running a fever and Daddy said we couldn't go. So, by last night, we both really wanted to play, and i was asking Daddy some questions about Fire Flogging (something we have never done.)
i absolutely love Fire Play, and was so excited when Daddy put together His own Fire Play set. If you've never experienced Fire Play, it can sound kind of scary, but it is such a rush. If done correctly, it does not hurt, you just feel this warmth rushing over your skin. Daddy has two fire wands, and He uses Wintergreen Alcohol which smells so good. During Fire Play, alcohol is rubbed over part of the body with one wand, (they have tips made with gauze) and the second wand is dipped in the alcohol and lit on fire. That fire is then touched to the alcohol, which burns off almost immediately. If the fire doesn't go out right away the person who is controlling the fire will run their hand over the area, and that will put the fire out. One time i had Fire Play done where the Top used Flash Cotton. It was very intense. Daddy was not the one playing me that time, but He was right there as He always is if someone else is playing me, and He said as soon as the Flash Cotton went off i started to giggle like crazy. It was really cool. Flash Cotton is something magicians use. When lit, it flashes brightly and then goes out. The time i had it used on me, the Top started at my ankle, and ran a piece of the cotton all the way up and over and around my left breast. When He lit it, starting at my ankle, it burned almost all at once. i can't quite describe the way it feels.
After Daddy was finished with the Fire Play, He decided to do Wax Play, but not in a way we had ever done it before. Usually He lights a white taper candle and drips the hot wax onto my body. Last night He melted some of the big, colored religious candles, and after the wax was melted, He poured it into His hands, and smeared it all over my chest in layers. It was hot in places, but it felt really good. When He had several layers on my chest and it had completely hardened, He used His large curved knife to peel the wax off my body. By the time He was done, i was flying. i guess i should have said that last night we did three of my favorite activities, because i also love knife play, lol.
Daddy and i are not what i would call "edge players". There are couples that play much harder, or more intensely than we do, but some of the activities we do, fall under the edge play category. Things like Fire Play and Knife Play. We also do cutting once in a while. Daddy likes this much more than i do, i let Him cut me because it gives Him pleasure. Daddy has tried Breath Play with me at times, but that is something i still struggle with. Each time i tell myself that i am going to relax, but as my air gets cut off i start to struggle. Daddy doesn't push me on this. i did try needle play once. It was OK, but it didn't really do anything for me. Daddy wasn't the one who did it, and i only had two needles put in. We will probably do that again in the future. Daddy also has a Medical Staple Gun. He has put a couple of staples in my arm before. Some people will have 6 or 8 staples placed in two straight lines, and will lace ribbons between them in a criss cross pattern. This looks really pretty. i even know one submissive that has had her pussy lips stapled together.
Another activity i really enjoy is cupping. There are two ways to do cupping. One is Mechanical Cupping, and one is Fire Cupping, that is the one i like, big surprise right, lol. Cupping is an activity where cups are attached to a person's back with suction. In Fire Cupping, this is done, by placing a small piece of leather on the back, placing a piece of cotton soaked in alcohol on top of that, and lighting it. While it is lit, a small cup (like a votive holder) is placed over the whole thing and this causes a suction effect. To get these cups off, the suction has to be broken. You end up with these awesome circular bruises on your back. Some people will pair cupping with sliding, where the cups are slid around on the back before the cups are removed, i have never tried this.
There are a lot of fun activities Daddy and i do together. We don't get to play as often as we would like some times, but when we do we both really enjoy it.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Big Transition
Transitioning from a relationship of being play partners, or a Dom with a collared submissive where they don't live together, to a living situation where the couple does live together can be difficult. Prior to living together, most if not all of this couple's interactions have play. Now, they have things like bills to be paid, meals to be cooked, and house work to be done. Sounds like a drag, doesn't it?
For Daddy and i, the trasition wasn't quite as shocking as all that. We didn't have the previous play relationship. We met on-line and after one night together, decided we wanted to live together. While, i don't recommend that others do this, i've said in the past that on our first meeting i did everything wrong, it did prevent us from having preconceived ideas of what our life would be like when we lived together.
Daddy and i had a friend that we used to play with at times before we moved to where we live now. This submissive got into a relationship with, and was collared by a Dom that lived three hours away. They got together about every other weekend, and everything they did was fun or play. After one of their weekends together, she would call me and tell me about all the fun things they did. i will admit, at times i would feel jealous of her. Here i was living the lifestyle day to day, and it wasn't all fun. We would play sometimes, and we went to one or two parties a month, but we also had the mundane chores of everyday life that had to be done. We had to go to work, and pay our bills, and maintain our home. i remained submissive to Daddy, and followed the rules He expected me to live by, but it wasn't the same as all this fun she was always having.
When my friend and her Dom started talking about living together, she spoke to me. i explained to her that real life would not be like what they were doing on their weekends together. And, while she listened to me, i am not sure she totally understood what i was saying or even really believed me.
Then she moved in with Him, and the things i had said started to be true. All of the sudden instead of playing she was busy making a meal, cleaning the house, or going to work. Other things were different, too. Up until that point, she had been pretty much free to come and go as she pleased. She was collared, but she was still in charge of her own life. Now, she had to answer for where she went and what she did. Even the money she earned was not her's to spend as she pleased. Before she bought anything she was required to ask for permission. Suddenly, she realized that everything i had told her was true.
Now, there may be D/s couples out there that disagree with me, but in my experience and IMHO, i believe that the transition can be difficult. This does not mean that it is impossible or that you should not try. It just means that it is important that you be aware of the possible difficulties you may face.
For Daddy and i, the trasition wasn't quite as shocking as all that. We didn't have the previous play relationship. We met on-line and after one night together, decided we wanted to live together. While, i don't recommend that others do this, i've said in the past that on our first meeting i did everything wrong, it did prevent us from having preconceived ideas of what our life would be like when we lived together.
Daddy and i had a friend that we used to play with at times before we moved to where we live now. This submissive got into a relationship with, and was collared by a Dom that lived three hours away. They got together about every other weekend, and everything they did was fun or play. After one of their weekends together, she would call me and tell me about all the fun things they did. i will admit, at times i would feel jealous of her. Here i was living the lifestyle day to day, and it wasn't all fun. We would play sometimes, and we went to one or two parties a month, but we also had the mundane chores of everyday life that had to be done. We had to go to work, and pay our bills, and maintain our home. i remained submissive to Daddy, and followed the rules He expected me to live by, but it wasn't the same as all this fun she was always having.
When my friend and her Dom started talking about living together, she spoke to me. i explained to her that real life would not be like what they were doing on their weekends together. And, while she listened to me, i am not sure she totally understood what i was saying or even really believed me.
Then she moved in with Him, and the things i had said started to be true. All of the sudden instead of playing she was busy making a meal, cleaning the house, or going to work. Other things were different, too. Up until that point, she had been pretty much free to come and go as she pleased. She was collared, but she was still in charge of her own life. Now, she had to answer for where she went and what she did. Even the money she earned was not her's to spend as she pleased. Before she bought anything she was required to ask for permission. Suddenly, she realized that everything i had told her was true.
Now, there may be D/s couples out there that disagree with me, but in my experience and IMHO, i believe that the transition can be difficult. This does not mean that it is impossible or that you should not try. It just means that it is important that you be aware of the possible difficulties you may face.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Toy Bag
For Daddy's birthday i bought Him a new Toy Bag. It's a really nice one, red, with wheels and an adjustable handle. Now, i know some people are wondering what i am talking about, and others are wondering why a grown man would want or need something called a toy bag. The thing is, this bag doesn't hold your typical toys.
The toy bag i'm discussing holds all the different things that Daddy uses on me and the occassional other submissive to cause pain/pleasure and other sensations. i like some of these toys, dislike others, and have a few that i have yet to try due to my personal limits. There are a few toys i really fear, and one that Daddy has agreed to use only for punishment.
The toy bag has a variety of pockets, which is nice because different types of items can be kept together. The big pocket is where we keep the floggers, paddles, boot horns, and miscellanous items suitable for striking someone. Daddy has several floggers. They are different sizes and weights, and each has a different feel. Floggers are one of my favorite things to be hit with. They can be used in such different ways. From feeling like a massage to feeling like your skin is being set on fire. We have several items purchased from tack shops and Tractor Supply Company. We also have things purchased from Walmart and Home Depot. This is something to remember. You don't always have to go to places that specialize in BDSM toys to purchase them. From the tack shop we have a riding crop, two different kinds of horse grooming items, and a recent aquisition a dressage whip. I like the crop and the grooming items, but the dressage whip, yikes, that hurts. From Walmart we have purchased wooden spoons, spatulas, and boot horns. From Home Depot we have purchased wooden dowels, and what Daddy thinks are some of the greatest freebies he can find, paint sticks. Remember the little paint sticks your Mama had when you were a kid? Yeah, well we have a few of those, but we also have a couple that are longer and 2-3x as thick.
The main pocket also holds some of my most feared items. There are the paddles, we have two paddles that have one smooth side and one side that looks like a meat tenderizer. Upon first examination you would think the meat tenderizer side would hurt more, right? Wrong the smooth side hurs much worse. One of these paddles is rectangular in shape about 12 inches by 6 inches. The other is smaller and round. The smaller one hurts more than the larger one. We have a tawse, if you don't know what a tawse is, consider yourself lucky. It is made of heavy black leather, split into two. Daddy's previous submissive had chosen that to be her punishment only item. My punishment only item is the Dragon Tail. It is made of suede, which you would think would be nice, it's not. It wraps and cause welts and bruises and quite honestly hurts like Hell. When He first got it, Daddy tried playing me with it. He would use other things and i would be close to flying, one or two strikes with the Dragon Tail, and the mood was gone. The pain it caused was just that, pain. It didn't become something that started to feel good. When Daddy gave me the choice, that is what i chose to be my punishment only item.
One of the side pockets holds insertables; vibrators, dildoes, and butt plugs. We have a beautiful glass dildo. It's nice and smooth, but it's very cold when it is first inserted. We also have a remote control egg that He likes to put in before we go shopping. He keeps the remote in His pocket, and when i least expect it, He flips it on. We also keep condoms in this pocket. These serve several purposes, from allowing others to borrow our insertables, to having them available if a couple hook up at a party and neither one has condom. Daddy likes to be prepared.
Another pocket holds clamps; nipple clamps, refrigerator note clamps, and clothes pins. Currently Daddy does not use these on me because my nipples are very sensitive, and i can't handle them. We have a set of clover leaf camps that just look wicked. We have lots of clothes pins, and a few other clamps. Like i said, nipple clamps are not something that Daddy uses on me. They are one of the few limits i still have. Recently i have started asking Daddy to pinch my nipples, so perhaps at some point i will be interested in trying the clamps, but not yet.
So, that is our toy bag. Not everything in it was purchased at a specialty store. Some of our favorite things were things that we purchased at stores where many people would not think to look.
The toy bag i'm discussing holds all the different things that Daddy uses on me and the occassional other submissive to cause pain/pleasure and other sensations. i like some of these toys, dislike others, and have a few that i have yet to try due to my personal limits. There are a few toys i really fear, and one that Daddy has agreed to use only for punishment.
The toy bag has a variety of pockets, which is nice because different types of items can be kept together. The big pocket is where we keep the floggers, paddles, boot horns, and miscellanous items suitable for striking someone. Daddy has several floggers. They are different sizes and weights, and each has a different feel. Floggers are one of my favorite things to be hit with. They can be used in such different ways. From feeling like a massage to feeling like your skin is being set on fire. We have several items purchased from tack shops and Tractor Supply Company. We also have things purchased from Walmart and Home Depot. This is something to remember. You don't always have to go to places that specialize in BDSM toys to purchase them. From the tack shop we have a riding crop, two different kinds of horse grooming items, and a recent aquisition a dressage whip. I like the crop and the grooming items, but the dressage whip, yikes, that hurts. From Walmart we have purchased wooden spoons, spatulas, and boot horns. From Home Depot we have purchased wooden dowels, and what Daddy thinks are some of the greatest freebies he can find, paint sticks. Remember the little paint sticks your Mama had when you were a kid? Yeah, well we have a few of those, but we also have a couple that are longer and 2-3x as thick.
The main pocket also holds some of my most feared items. There are the paddles, we have two paddles that have one smooth side and one side that looks like a meat tenderizer. Upon first examination you would think the meat tenderizer side would hurt more, right? Wrong the smooth side hurs much worse. One of these paddles is rectangular in shape about 12 inches by 6 inches. The other is smaller and round. The smaller one hurts more than the larger one. We have a tawse, if you don't know what a tawse is, consider yourself lucky. It is made of heavy black leather, split into two. Daddy's previous submissive had chosen that to be her punishment only item. My punishment only item is the Dragon Tail. It is made of suede, which you would think would be nice, it's not. It wraps and cause welts and bruises and quite honestly hurts like Hell. When He first got it, Daddy tried playing me with it. He would use other things and i would be close to flying, one or two strikes with the Dragon Tail, and the mood was gone. The pain it caused was just that, pain. It didn't become something that started to feel good. When Daddy gave me the choice, that is what i chose to be my punishment only item.
One of the side pockets holds insertables; vibrators, dildoes, and butt plugs. We have a beautiful glass dildo. It's nice and smooth, but it's very cold when it is first inserted. We also have a remote control egg that He likes to put in before we go shopping. He keeps the remote in His pocket, and when i least expect it, He flips it on. We also keep condoms in this pocket. These serve several purposes, from allowing others to borrow our insertables, to having them available if a couple hook up at a party and neither one has condom. Daddy likes to be prepared.
Another pocket holds clamps; nipple clamps, refrigerator note clamps, and clothes pins. Currently Daddy does not use these on me because my nipples are very sensitive, and i can't handle them. We have a set of clover leaf camps that just look wicked. We have lots of clothes pins, and a few other clamps. Like i said, nipple clamps are not something that Daddy uses on me. They are one of the few limits i still have. Recently i have started asking Daddy to pinch my nipples, so perhaps at some point i will be interested in trying the clamps, but not yet.
So, that is our toy bag. Not everything in it was purchased at a specialty store. Some of our favorite things were things that we purchased at stores where many people would not think to look.
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