It's Been Quite a While

OK, i know it has been a long time since i have written anything. This is not because there has been nothing to say, but rather because things just get so hectic sometimes that i neglect the non-essential things. But, i think i need to make blogging into something that is essential because i find i feel more calm and focused when i get my feelings out.

When i started this blog, i guess i was a little self-centered, thinking i was going to be orginal, that no one but i would think of writing about TTWD for all the world to see. Boy, was i wrong. When i started out i was amazed by how many other blogs about submission, slavery, and BDSM were out there. Did this deter me? No. i decided to go with a blog that i felt would be educational for others who were just starting out on this path, or that were considering it, but hadn't decided yet if it was something they wanted to do. But, after a short time i found it to be so much more. Not only did i find blogs that i looked forward to reading every day, (and yes i have been reading them almost every day even though i rarely comment) but i found my blog was a safe place to talk about my feelings. Sometimes, just writing about them and knowing that someone is reading them is enough to make me feel better, like someone cares. And, when i get comments expressing support and compassion that is even better.

Things have gotten better since my last post. i want to thank everyone who commented. There was one comment that i tried to publish, but for some reason it didn't, so apologize to that person, i appreciate you taking the time to write. One day, shortly after i made that post i climbed up in Daddy's lap and just let all my feelings out. It was the first time we had talked like that in a long time. It was very helpful, and He told me that anytime i need to get my feelings out to Him, to just let Him know and He will make time for us to talk. 

Tha's not to say that things are perfect, or a bed of roses. We still have days when i get frustrated or discouraged. i think (and this is just my opinion) that all submissives feel that way sometimes, but knowing that He is there and willing to listen to me helps. Our room mate is still here, and sometimes she is very, very demanding towards me. For some reason she feels that it is her God given right to tell me what to do. i usually do what she tells me to, that is the submissive in me, but i know at times i have been a little snotty about it. In Daddy's defense, He usually doesn't know about these things. So, while i know He would probably expect me to be respectful of her (she is a Domme after all) i think if He were more aware of it, He might say something. For my part, i don't tell Him about it most of the time, because i don't want to cause waves. There was one day when i got scolded by both of them for the same thing at different times, and when i told Daddy that i had already been yelled at about that He told me He didn't know that, and that truly the only one i always had to listen to was Him, the one i submit to.

So, it is a new year, and my only true resolution, (i am already working at weight loss, exercise, and eating better) is to be a better submissive. To listen, and do as i'm told, to express my feelings instead of holding them in and being passive/aggressive ("i'm fine" when it is clear that i'm upset about something) and to be far less argumentitive. i am going to blog more , and i'm going to go back to keeping a journal (i already bought one, it is purple with flowers and butterflies) because Daddy says that when i journal i write my true feelings. i have permission to write whatever i feel in my blog and my journal without fear of repercussion because they are for me, even though He often reads both. It is a way for Him as He puts it, to get in my head.

So, Happy New Year to all my blogger friends.