Punishment

Punishment can be a touchy subject for people in the lifestyle.There are some submissives, especially those who are new to BDSM who don't understand punishment. They feel they are adults and don't believe they should be punished like a child. There are Dominants that just don't like to punish, and then there is the argument about what form the punishment should take.

Punishment can take many forms, it can be physical such as spanking, or flogging, it can involve the withdrawal of privileges such as computer time, it can involve writing lines,or essays,or standing in the corner, some Doms even punish by denying their subissive their company, which i believe has got to be one of the harshest punishments any submissive can have to go through.

There are some people who say you can't punish a submissive who enjoys pain physically. i don't agree. For me when Daddy punishes me with spanking, which i will admit i like, it just feels different. i think it has to do with the fact that i know that i have disappointed or upset Daddy. That fact makes me feel bad before the punishment even starts. Daddy usually informs me that i will be receiving a punishment in advance, but He never says just when it will happen. This gives me time to think about what i have done to deserve this punishment, but it also gives me time to fret about it, which i think is actually part of the punishment.

The first time Daddy punished me i had a lot of mixed emotions. i knew ahead of time that i was going to be punished and i was dreading it. i was still new to the whole pain thing, so i was pretty nervous about that, and besides that i really didn't know what to expect. But, once it was over i felt this huge sense of relief. Not only did i feel relieved of the guilt caused by doing something wrong, but i realized that Daddy cared enough about me to punish me when i did something wrong, and that was the end of it. i also realized that He wasn't going to give up on me just because i had made a mistake. i don't enjoy punishment, but sometimes i need the relief it provides me with.

Some people say the worst punishment you can inflict upon a masochist is not giving them the pain the crave. Maybe that's true. i am not a true masochist. i like mild pain, but if it gets any heavier, that's not for me. Daddy has a couple of toys that He uses just for punishment.These are toys that He uses sparingly if it all when we play because they don't excite me. The worst one is they Dragon's Tail. i hate it. If Daddy uses that on me during play it takes me right out of my headspace. For this reason Daddy feels it is the perfect punishment tool.

As i have said, i think the worst punishment a Dominant can bestow upon their submissive has got to be denying the sub of their company. Most submissives feel bad enough when they know they have upset their Dom, being denied His/Her company has to make that just so much worse.

i don't think most submissives enjoy punishment, whatever form it takes, but i think used properly, in a caring M/s D/s relationship, it can be a good tool. It can prevent small misunderstandings from becoming big problems. It can free the submissive from their feelings of guilt, and it can help the Dominant express their displeasure in a non-abusive, but concrete way.