Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Improper Behavior, or Overbearing Dom

Well, they discharged Daddy from the hospital today. This does not mean they did anything to make Him better, far from it. It just means that the doctors who we trusted to help Him all bailed, and the thing that upsets me the most about this is that we were never told this could happen. Daddy has waited so long for this surgery, it was scheduled once before and canceled due to His lab work. At that time He was instructed to go see His PCP and get cleared. He did that. He went and had lab work last week, it was abnormal (normal for Him), they were aware of all of this and still they had us come in the night before, required Him to get poked and prodded, had Him receive blood products, and then 30 minutes prior to His scheduled surgery they pulled the rug out from under us and said it was canceled. But, they would do it later in the week they said, they just wanted Him to be seen by some other doctors. They would do it Thursday night. Then today at 3:00 PM, the rug was pulled out from under us again, and we are told, no the doctor is not going to do the surgery at all. Nice, huh? And the doctor wasn't even the one to come tell us, he sent his assistant. However, that was the good thing that happened today, she found a doctor, and friend of hers who does this type of surgery on high risk patients. He is willing to take Daddy on, we still have hope.

Something happened last night that really bothered me and has been weighing on me ever since. A couple we are friends with came to visit us at the hospital last night. This couple is lifestyle, and we spend quite a bit of time with them. We were all sitting around talking, and i asked my friend to do something for me that i was unable to do from the hospital, Daddy interupted me, said something about a way i could do this from the hospital, i looked at Him, and listened to Him, maybe even nodded my head at Him, then resumed the conversation i was having with my friend. At this point, her Dom said something to Daddy about me ignoring Him or not answering Him or something, i guess He thought i was being disrespectful. i was shocked. First of all i did not ignore, nor disrespect Daddy. i acknowledged Daddy, even though i had been talking, and then resumed my conversation. Second of all, Daddy didn't see my actions as disrespectful. This Dom went on and on about how i had ignored Him and how He has the same trouble with my friend and so He knew what Daddy was going through, etc, etc. So, i did something i normally would not do, i started to defend myself. i don't do this with Daddy because i know He doesn't like it, but i felt this "attack" was uncalled for. i said i didn't ignore Him, that i had listened to what He said, but that i had been in the middle of a conversation, and He said, "What kind of a relationship do you think you're in?'" i was very close to tears.

So, i got very quiet, and just concentrated on watching TV. The other Dom said something about me now being all mopey, again comparing my behavior with my friend's behavior. My friend started to think she was in trouble, and she asked if she had done something wrong or if she was in trouble, and He told her that she exhibits the same behavior a lot of the time. She also became quiet, and He said to Daddy "look, now I've made them both mopey."

i should say, that i have never had this type of problem with this particular Dom before, but i am aware that He often compares my friend's behavior with mine, when they are alone, with my behavior being better. i wish He wouldn't do that, but she has told me He does. i was just really surprised that not only did He try to dictate my behavior, but that He did it even though Daddy obviously did not have a problem with it.

So, i ask you. What do you think? What do other submissives think i should have done? Dominants, do you think He was out of line, or am i over reacting? Should i have defended myself, or just said yes Sir, to the other Dom and modified my behavior accordingly? i find i am questioning myself over this, even today. i know my friend was embarrassed over what He said to me, but of course she could not say anything.

Well, it has been a long, long couple of days, and i have to work tomorrow, so i think i will stop for the night. Here's hoping that everyone has a good night and a great day tomorrow.

7 comments:

  1. first ((((hugs))))

    I dunno I think it was rude of the other dom to correct you, it's kinda like slapping your Daddy also and saying he's not doing his job. If your Daddy felt there was a problem, he would have spoken up.

    I'm sorry, I'm probably not much help.

    mouse

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  2. Dear Cinderelli,
    I just found your blog. What I have read so far is lovely and I'd like to link to you.

    I am not in a DD relationship, but I think the insult was directed at your man, not at you. Also, he only made himself look bad in the eyes of all three of you, so he is clearly the loser here. Try not to give it another thought. He obviously gives no thought to you.
    Be happy,
    Maryann
    http://timeoutforlove.blogspot.com/

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  3. Cinderelli,
    I like your blog and I added a link on mine. :)
    Maryann

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  4. hi Cinderelli

    sorry to hear all the hassle your Daddy is going through with the hospital farce, i dont think that dom should have said anything even if he did think something given the situation you both are in, and also he shouldnt compare you with his sub either, i think we subs feel vunerable enough wanting to please our Masters. If you had of disrespected your Daddy believe me He would have said to you. you have done nothing wrong. Take care xx lu peata

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  5. Thank you all for commenting. It is nice to have others who understand my life and what we all go through. i thought long and hard about it before posting this, but it just kept eating at me and i needed to get it off my chest, and i really don't want to bother Daddy with it right now.

    Mouse a hug is always helpful, and i appreciate you and your input.

    Maryann Thank you for your kind words. i took a look at your blog and linked to it too.

    peata Thanks. i agree that many subs, including me and my friend feel insecure and vulnerable a lot of the time. Pleasing Daddy is the most important thing to me, and when i feel like i am doing that, i feel happy.

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  6. Interesting questions. 1st, I wonder why you feel any need to listen to or "respect" (outside of common courtesy) another man who is not your own? My opinion is that because a man is a man, or considers himself a dominant, does not give him authority over me. 2nd, I also wonder why your husband did not defend you or step in? I would think he would see it as his place and his alone to correct you? And most especially if he saw nothing wrong between you. Being sick, maybe he didn't catch it. My husband would have made it very clear that what is between he and I is for him alone to handle. Sara

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  7. Sara-i think the reason Daddy didn't step in is because He was not feeling well, and therefore really wasn't Himself. Under ordinary circustances He will defend me if He feels i am in the right. You are correct, this individual, Dom though He may be, does not have authority over me. Although Daddy insists that i be respectful to all Doms, i submit to Daddy alone. We were however in the hospital and so i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, possibly causing an ugly scene, and we also have a relationship/friendship with this couple outside of the lifestyle, and so i tried to keep that in mind. But, the more i thought about it later, the more it bothered me. Granted i may have been somewhat more sensitive than normal, dealing with what we were dealing with, but i still don't think any Dom has the right to correct someone else's submissive, unless that submissive's owner has given them that permission, and then i would think it would only be in certain circumstances, like the submissive was left in their care, etc.
    In the end, i think, it all boils down to, He may have been wrong to correct me, but since Daddy wasn't upset, i probably should not have let it bother me as much as it did.
    Thank you for your comments.

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