Limitless Limits

One thing every submissive has to figure out before he/she can negotiate a scene is limits. When you are a new submissive it can be hard to know what your limits are. i know the first time i was asked what mine were i responded that i didn't know enough yet to have predetermined limits. As you play, you learn what you like and what you don't like. Any Dom that does not allow limits should be avoided.
Limits fall into two categories. There are soft limits and there are hard limits. Soft limits are things that may be negotiable. Things that maybe you don't like now, but think you may like in the future, or things that you fear, but that intrigue you and that you may be able to do at a later time. Hard limits are non-negotiable. They are things that are absolutely, without a doubt NO.
However, most Doms will push your limits. This is a good thing. It helps you grow. And sometimes a limit that you were sure was a hard limit will become a soft limit or not a limit at all.
Once i determined what my limits were, i had many. now, i have very few. There are also some things that i don't like that much, but that i do or have done to me because it pleases my Dom. One of these things is cutting. Now, i like knife play, play where a knife is glided along my body, and occassionally the sharp point is pressed lightly into my skin. But, cutting is different. It is just what it sounds like. Letters or designs are cut into my skin. These scar as they heal, and the marks are visible for some time. My Dom is very careful to cut me only in areas where they will not show.
While we are on the subject of limits, i think it is important to also discuss "safe words". Safe words are words that are used when play becomes too intense or when something is uncomfortable and play needs to stop, even if only temporarily. My Dom and i have two safe words, they are yellow and red. Yellow means that something is starting to get uncomfortable and needs to be eased up or a new implement needs to be used. Red means that whatever is happening has to stop RIGHT NOW! This doesn't necessarily mean that all play needs to stop, it may mean that, or it may mean that whatever is going on has stop, but that play can continue.
You should never be afraid or too proud to use your safe words. i used to have that problem. i was too proud to use my safe words because i didn't want to disappoint my Dom or look like a light player (this was especially true at parties). My Dom kept tellling my how silly it was to feel that way, that was the reason He had given me the safe words in the first place. At times when He knew i was being stubborn He would "force" me to safe word by doing things He knew i wasn't ready for. As time has gone by, the need for safe words has become less and less. Part of the reason for that is because my Dom knows me and how much i can take. He can tell by my body language when i am close to my limit. Another reason is because i can take more now than i could in the begining.
Any Dom who doesn't allow you to have a safe word or who does not honor them when you use them is someone you should not play with. Safe words are a part of the SSC (safe, sane, and consensual) part of BDSM. Most people in the BDSM lifestyle play by this code. If someone doesn't play by this code, especially when you are just starting out, you may want to reconsider whether or not you want to play with them.