"True" Submission

A lot of talk has been happening here lately about safe words, limits, and "true" submission. Everyone has their own opinions on this subject, and i want to talk about mine. i have discussed safe words and limits before, but i just want to express my opinion.

There was a post i read earlier that said any person who has limits or uses a safe word is not truly submissive. That, in essence they are playing at being submissive or they are controlling the relationship, instead of the Dom who should be controlling it. i respectfully disagree. First of all, nothing makes me crazier than the 'my submission is better than your's' game. Everyone defines their relationship differently, and just because one submissive does things one way and another does things another way, does not make one better, truer, or more submissive than the other.

Daddy and i don't use safe words, anymore. We did in the begining. It was important and in Daddy's opinion necessary in the begining. For one thing i was brand new to the scene. Neither one of us knew what i could handle. Daddy didn't want to accidently go too far and have me afraid to say something. He wasn't sure what body language i would exhibit if and when things got too intense. Now He knows me. He knows how far He can push me, and He knows what to watch for as far as my reactions if He is going too far.

These safe words were used only during play and they were not abused. They were never used to simply get out of doing something i didn't want to do. They were used if and when they were needed, if something was becoming too much for me or if somehing was wrong like my hands were going numb. Sometimes i would fight against using my safe words even when i really needed to. i wanted to be a perfect submissive who could take as much as any other submissive. Daddy cured me of that, He pushed me, and pushed me, and pushed me, until i called red.

When Daddy allows someone else to play me, however, He insists on safe words and i am thankful for that. Another Top does not know me like Daddy does, and i need to be able to stop things if they go to far. Daddy also will not allow someone else to play me if He has never seen them play, and if He has seen them play, but is uncomfortable with how they play, He will not allow them to play me. These are some of the ways He takes care of me.

As far as limits go, yes, i have limits. i don't have as many limits as i did in the begining, but yes i do have limits. There are certain things i simply will not do or have done to me. Does this make me not submissive? i don't think so. It means i am not a mindless robot, it doesn't mean i am not submissive. There are other things that i am not fond of, but that Daddy likes to do, that i do to please Him. That is part of what makes me a submissive, my desire to make Daddy happy. Daddy accepts my hard limits, and pushes my soft limits and over time some things that were hard limits have become things that either i really enjoy, like knife play, or things i accept like cutting. Some of my other limits remain limits and will always remain limits. Some of these things like scat, and beastiality luckliy are things that Daddy has no interest in.

So, i used to use safe words and i still have limits. Does this make me not a true submissive? Does this make me just some player waanabe, who has romantic ideas of what submission is? No. NO! i am submissive because i have a desire to please my Master. i am submissive because i have given myself freely to Him. He considers me His property and that makes me happy. Yes, i do believe that there are submissives out there who have romantic ideas about submission. Submission is hard sometimes. It is serving when you are dead tired at the end of a long day. It is responding yes Sir to a command when you are feeling upset or just having a bad day. And at times it does mean doing something that you don't exactly enjoy because it will make Him happy. i do all this, because i am with my Master, my Sir, my One, my Owner, my Daddy. He makes me whole, and i gladly belong to Him.

i have also read things about on-line submissives being less submissive than those of us who have the privelege of living the lifestyle real time. Who are we to judge. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to be near the one who owns us on a daily or at least regular basis. How hard must it be that the only contact these submissives have with their Masters is a phone call or e-mail message. Those submissives who live a long distance or on-line relationship with their Masters and do it truthfully, obediently, and submissively deserve respect from the rest of us.

No one can define true submission. It has as many definitions as it has people living it whether 24/7, part time, on-line, or any other way they live it.